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Elise Heerde
Meet Elise
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Coaching
Consulting
After The Exit
Holy Hell
Faith After Control
Holy Hell: Saved So Hard I Needed Therapy
After The Exit: Coercive Control
Little Book of Sarcasm
Resources
RTC
Blog
Contact Me
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Elise Heerde

Elise Heerde acknowledges the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation as the Traditional Custodians of the land on which I live and work. I pay deep respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Elders, past, present, and emerging. I honour their enduring connection to land, waters, culture, and community and acknowledge that this always was, and always will be, Aboriginal land.

Elise Heerde is inclusive of all individuals within the LGBTQIA+ Community. That means celebrating and affirming every LGBTQIA+ identity and showing love and respect for everyone's abilities, cultures, faiths, and bodies. Everyone's unique journey is valued and welcomed with open arms.

In high-control churches, nothing is secular. Every coincidence is a sign, every setback is a test, every doubt is an attack, every instinct that threatens the system gets reinterpreted until you can't trust your own perception. This isn't accidenta
This Pride Month I have published something I've been trying to write for a long time. 🧡 It's about coming home to myself as queer at almost forty. 💛 It's about what purity culture does to a person's ability to know themselves. 💙 It's about gri
Harmful church rarely announce themself. Some of the most controlling environments look like belonging, until you know what to look for. 👉🏻 Swipe through. Sit with the questions. Your answers, even if they are uncomfortable, is information. #reli
The God described in high-control churches often bears a striking resemblance to the leader preaching about him. ❗️Needs constant praise. ❗️Rewards flattery. ❗️Punishes those who leave. ❗️Demands absolute loyalty with no reciprocal accountability
Being elevated into leadership proximity in a high-control church feels like recognition. Like your faithfulness finally counted for something. Like you were seen. And in some ways, you were. You were seen as someone who could be useful at a higher
Covenant language is one of the most sophisticated tools in the high-control church toolkit because it doesn't just create social obligation. It creates theological obligation. And theological obligation is much harder to walk away from. ⚠️ In high-

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Elise Heerde is a certified practitioner of Havening Techniques. Havening Techniques is a registered trademark of Ronald Ruden, 15 East 91st Street, New York. www.havening.org