Book cover with a stylized illustration of a woman with blue wavy hair, a halo, and surrounded by religious and fiery symbols, featuring the title "Holy Hell" and the author's name Elise Heerde.
Book cover with a stylized illustration of a woman with blue wavy hair, a halo, and surrounded by religious and fiery symbols, featuring the title "Holy Hell" and the author's name Elise Heerde.

Holy Hell

Saved So Hard I Needed Therapy

Part memoir

Part middle finger

Part survival guide

A stylized illustration of a woman with long hair walking away from the viewer. She is surrounded by flames, a dove, an open book, and a church, symbolizing themes of spirituality, faith, and resilience.

What happens when the faith you were taught to trust becomes the thing you need to survive?

Holy Hell is a raw, honest, and darkly funny exploration of life inside and after high-control Pentecostal and charismatic Christianity. It's for anyone who grew up being told they were on fire for God but ended up burnt out instead. For anyone who performed their faith so hard they forgot who they were underneath it. For anyone still untangling fear-based theology from their nervous system years after they walked away.

This isn't a tidy testimony with a bow on top. It's messy, cathartic, and real. It's permission to be angry about what happened. Permission to grieve what you lost. Permission to laugh at the absurdity of it all while still honouring how much it hurt.

If you've ever prayed the sinner's prayer on a loop just in case, feared the rapture more than death itself, or wondered if a demon was hiding in your cupboard at 3am - this book gets it. You're not crazy. You were just conditioned. And now you get to heal.

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If you're navigating Pentecostal or charismatic church harm and need community, the Holy Hell Support Group is a 6-week online space to process the specific dynamics of charismatic control, fear-based theology, and spiritual performance with others who've been there.

Black background with white text about a memoir exploring religion and personal growth.
Black background with red five-pointed stars, forming a horizontal line.
Black background with red five-pointed stars, forming a horizontal line.
A quote on a black background stating, "Holy Hell is a powerful reminder that healing is messy, sacred, and necessary. For anyone who's ever questioned the faith they were handed - this one will hit home."
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Close-up of a book page with white text on a black background discussing healing from religious trauma and cults
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A digital screen with a quote about Holy Hell and laughter, written in white text on a black background.
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I'm available for speaking engagements on pentecostal and charismatic church harm, fear-based theology, spiritual performance anxiety, and supporting survivors of high-control religious environments.

CONTACT ME